Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
