yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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