i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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