I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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