this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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