i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
