would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
