Is it because I queefed?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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