well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He did a backflip because drugs
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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