Screwed.edu
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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