yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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