Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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