We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
