You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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