If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
