I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you had me at cake vodka
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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