I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
