So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
