At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
