I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
