I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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