4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
