It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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