evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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