We won't sleep together?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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