wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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