Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize