ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
