Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
