so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
