I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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