My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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