she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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