Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
my liver is dry heaving
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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