we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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