I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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