we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
