Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
