what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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