I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dicks are not precious.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
