there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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