he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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