is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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