When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i love accidental penises.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
