he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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