He is an equal opportunity slut.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
