I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
In America we eat man semen.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
