exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
In America we eat man semen.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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