I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize