Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
