the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
