well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
