I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize