It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
