i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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