She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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