i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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