I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize