Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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