All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
