Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drunk is a universal language darling
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
