The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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