So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
