Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
